Old age, I decided,

is a gift.

I am now, probably

for the first time in my life,

the person I have always

wanted to be.

Oh, not my body!

I sometimes despair

over my body ...

the wrinkles,

the baggy eyes,

and the sagging butt.

And often I am taken aback

by that old person that

lives in my mirror,

but I don't agonize over

those things for long.

I would never trade

my amazing friends,

my wonderful life,

my loving family

for less grey hair or

a flatter belly.

As I've aged,

I've become my own friend.

I don't chide myself

for eating that extra cookie,

or for not making my bed,

or for buying that silly

cement gecko that I didn't need,

but looks so avant-garde

on my patio.

I am entitled to overeat,

to be messy,

to be extravagant.

I have seen too many

dear friends leave this

world too soon;

before they understood

the great freedom

that comes with aging.

Whose business is it

if I choose to read or play

on the computer until 4 a.m.

and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to

those wonderful tunes

of the 60's, and if I,

at the same time, wish to

weep over a lost love ...

I will.

I will walk the beach

in a swim suit that is

stretched over a bulging body,

and will dive into the waves

with abandon if I choose to,

despite the pitying glances

from the bikini set.

They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful.

But there again, some of life

is just as well forgotten,

and I eventually remember

the important things.

Sure, over the years,

my heart has been broken.

How can your heart not break

when you lose a loved one,

or when a child suffers,

or even when a beloved pet

gets hit by a car?

But broken hearts are what

give us strength and

understanding and compassion.

A heart never broken is

pristene and sterile

and will never know the joy

of being imperfect.

I am so blessed

to have lived long enough

to have my hair turn grey,

and to have my youthful

laughs be forever etched

into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed,

and so many have died

before their hair could turn silver.

I can say "no," and mean it.

I can say "yes," and mean it.

As you get older,

it is easier to be positive.

You care less about

what other people think.

I don't question myself anymore.

I've even earned the right

to be wrong.

So, to answer your question,

I like being old.

It has set me free.

I like the person I have become.

I am not going to live forever,

but while I am still here,

I will not waste time lamenting

what could have been,

or worrying about what will be,

but will continue

to rejoice in what was.

  Back